Sunday, September 9, 2012

Welcome BACK to the Real World


WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD


“I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time.  Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.”
-E.B. White

Welcome back ladies and gentleman, to the place where the sky is bluer, the grass is greener, and the coffee is blacker.  Yes it’s true, I have finally arrived back at school-UNC Chapel Hill, the place that segwayed my introduction to the alleged Real World.  It’s great to be back in the place that was quick to humble me as well as impress me.  I wasn’t expecting it but my old friend, the feeling of being truly terrified, has joined me for yet another slumber party.  There is something about being abandoned dropped off by my parents each year that leaves me feeling like a lonely child lost at the grocery store, having to call her parents on the loud speaker.  It concerns me that after 19 years my eyes well up every time I am separated from the parental units; I mean, am I gonna be that girl who lives in a tree house in her parents’ backyard when she’s 40?  (Is there even that type of girl?  Did I just doom myself to be her?) Anyways, after I recovered from the initial shock of being released into the Real World once again, I hunkered down in my new APARTMENT (!!!!!!!!!!!) and got ready for the first week of classes!  Highlights/interesting tidbits from this week:

#1: Some people’s parents release their kids into the world of college and say good luck.  Not mine.  Mine are better.  Mine lug every bit of my furniture up three flights of stairs, fill my fridge with food, and say, “Remember who you are and whose you are.”  That translates to, “Don’t embarrass us.”  Thanks so much y’all for all your help and support!  My new apartment is fabulous and I’m so excited about this year!
My closet:

My closet room:

Dining room table:

My kitchen (and one of my roommates):

Our Living Room:

#2: Professors these days…they don’t speak English!  So I have one (and a half) professor that is from the United States.  I have no problem with this accept it makes it somewhat difficult to understand what they’re saying in class. Yikes! My Southeast Asia before 1750 professor is from England.  Her name is Emma Flatt, she’s very pregnant, and her accent I bomb.  And I quote, “I’m not sure if it’s because I’m old or because I’m from England but sometimes you young Americans can be a bit cheeky.  That means rude.  If you’re polite, I will likely come to grips with your argument and am therefore more likely to indulge in your requests.”  If you didn’t read that in a British accent in your head, go back and do it again.  Anyways, Emma is not that hard to understand but for her being from England presents a particularly interesting problem for me.  If you know me very well you might know that I LOVE people with accents.  I also have a very bad habit of imitating someone’s accent…while I’m talking to them.  I really can’t help it but when I talk to someone with an accent, I just pick it up and use it right back at him or her!  I did it all last year to my Kinston-native roommate and to one of my friend’s mom in high school, who was from England.  Here’s hoping I don’t have to go to office hours with Emma because I have a feeling she might see that as an American being rude and she might not be able to “come to grips” with my requests. My Statistics teacher is from India and that is just a mess in its purest form.  I literally cannot understand what he says during class.  Luckily I have a pretty good textbook and for now I am surviving with that.  Finally we have arrived at my Spanish teacher.  I am not totally convinced that he isn’t in fact from America.  I struggle with him because when he switches from Spanish to English, he has a very strange and poor Spanish accent.  It is the strangest thing!  It’s like he wants us to think he is authentic so he uses a Spanish accent when he speaks English but it sounds messed up.  I’ve had to excuse myself twice from class so far because I was afraid I would not be able to stifle my laughter…plus his daughter’s name is Alice!?!?!?! 

#3: Kids are funny.  This year I have taken the job of a part time nanny for three children...and their dog.  It’s the most fun that I have had in awhile and I’m eating up all the funny things they say.  Mia, the youngest, got in to my car the other day with a drawing from school.  It was of me and I was surrounded by what appeared to be dancing candy canes. (on a side note, I had rather large facial features which makes me think you guys aren’t telling me something…)  She then preceded to advise me, “Candy Kane, if you ever get a tattoo, you should get a small candy cane because candy canes are sweet and people will think you are too.”  Well if that’s my only hope for tricking people into thinking I’m sweet, I guess I’d better break out the red and white ink!

#4: Our mascot is a ram.  This might not be news to many of you but it is particularly confusing these days as our campus has been taken over by cows.  Moooooooooooo.  Very large cow statues were dispersed throughout our campus during the summer as a part of the “cow parade” and they are becoming a source of scandal here at UNC.  (Learn more about the parade here: http://cowparadenc.com) To date, two cows have already been defaced! Oh the horror!  Anyway while they seem to be for a good cause, I wish they were at least rams because they are a bid odd and off puttin.  Also they are a particular nuisance to people of my status who have a hard time navigating the lopsided sidewalks as is.  Now they go and put a large obstacle in the middle?  I mean you might as well put me down for the count.

#5:Delta Delta Delta can I help ya help ya help ya???  Well it’s that time of year again, RUSHHHHHH!  Except this time I’m on the other side of it all.  Instead of being flattered, fed, and fanned, I’m sweating, sweet talking, and swearing privately to myself.  For me Rush mostly includes a lot of jumping up and down, dancing, and smiling…it’s very exhausting and although I LOVE IT AND TRI DELT IS THE GREATEST THING TO GRACE THE FACE OF THE EARTH AND I LOVE HEARING ABOUT PEOPLE’S MAJORS AND WHAT THEY DID THIS SUMMER, I’m glad it’s over.  All of our jumping, yelling, and dancing hard work paid off though because we have a cute group of new delta babies and I’m so excited for the year ahead!!!  Our bid day was circus themed: Tri Delta-The Greatest Show On Earth.  We had a magician, a face painter, a fortune teller, a DJ, ANDDDDDDDD clefs.  They’re back y’all and better than ever! 

Welcome to Deltaland!!!:

Me and the roommates:

BID DAY!!!!! I was a tigress:

Fly Delta-Coffee, Tea, or Me?:

BID DAY!!!! Throw what you know:

BID DAY!!! Welcome to the greatest show on earth:

I was a flower in the skit...i attribute our whole new great pledge class to my role:

#6: Happy Birthday Grace Mann!!!!!! Our friendship is an unlikely one but i'm thankful for it everyday you weirdo.  Happy 19th!!


#7: An afterthought on Dolly's birthday... I hope your birthday was as great as you are!  I told you we had fun!












Anyways that’s what my first few weeks of school have been filled with!  I hope the year continues as smoothly and enjoyably as it has thus far.  I say this skeptically because I have yet to take an exam and we all know how I handle the pressure of those-with lots of crying.  Love ya. Miss ya.  Mean it.
Kane
My attempt at making a meal...wish me luck this year:

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