WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
“I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have
one hell of a good time. Sometimes this
makes planning my day difficult.”
-E.B. White
Welcome back ladies and gentleman,
to the place where the sky is bluer, the grass is greener, and the coffee is
blacker. Yes it’s true, I have finally
arrived back at school-UNC Chapel Hill, the place that segwayed my introduction
to the alleged Real World. It’s
great to be back in the place that was quick to humble me as well as impress
me. I wasn’t expecting it but my old
friend, the feeling of being truly terrified, has joined me for yet another
slumber party. There is something about
being abandoned dropped off by my parents each year that leaves me
feeling like a lonely child lost at the grocery store, having to call her
parents on the loud speaker. It concerns
me that after 19 years my eyes well up every time I am separated from the
parental units; I mean, am I gonna be that girl who lives in a tree house in
her parents’ backyard when she’s 40? (Is
there even that type of girl? Did I just
doom myself to be her?) Anyways, after I recovered from the initial shock of being
released into the Real World once again, I hunkered down in my new APARTMENT
(!!!!!!!!!!!) and got ready for the first week of classes! Highlights/interesting tidbits from this
week:
#1: Some people’s parents release their kids into the world
of college and say good luck. Not
mine. Mine are better. Mine lug every bit of my furniture up three
flights of stairs, fill my fridge with food, and say, “Remember who you are and
whose you are.” That translates to, “Don’t
embarrass us.” Thanks so much y’all for
all your help and support! My new
apartment is fabulous and I’m so excited about this year!
My closet:
My closet room:
Dining room table:
My kitchen (and one of my roommates):
Our Living Room:
#2: Professors these days…they don’t speak English! So I have one (and a half) professor that is
from the United States. I have no
problem with this accept it makes it somewhat difficult to understand what
they’re saying in class. Yikes! My Southeast Asia before 1750 professor is from
England. Her name is Emma Flatt, she’s
very pregnant, and her accent I bomb.
And I quote, “I’m not sure if it’s because I’m old or because I’m from
England but sometimes you young Americans can be a bit cheeky. That means rude. If you’re polite, I will likely come to grips
with your argument and am therefore more likely to indulge in your
requests.” If you didn’t read that in a
British accent in your head, go back and do it again. Anyways, Emma is not that hard to understand
but for her being from England presents a particularly interesting problem for
me. If you know me very well you might
know that I LOVE people with accents. I
also have a very bad habit of imitating someone’s accent…while I’m talking to
them. I really can’t help it but when I
talk to someone with an accent, I just pick it up and use it right back at him
or her! I did it all last year to my
Kinston-native roommate and to one of my friend’s mom in high school, who was
from England. Here’s hoping I don’t have
to go to office hours with Emma because I have a feeling she might see that as
an American being rude and she might not be able to “come to grips” with my
requests. My Statistics teacher is from India and that is just a mess in its
purest form. I literally cannot
understand what he says during class.
Luckily I have a pretty good textbook and for now I am surviving with
that. Finally we have arrived at my
Spanish teacher. I am not totally
convinced that he isn’t in fact from America.
I struggle with him because when he switches from Spanish to English, he
has a very strange and poor Spanish accent.
It is the strangest thing! It’s
like he wants us to think he is authentic so he uses a Spanish accent when he
speaks English but it sounds messed up.
I’ve had to excuse myself twice from class so far because I was afraid I
would not be able to stifle my laughter…plus his daughter’s name is
Alice!?!?!?!
#3: Kids are funny.
This year I have taken the job of a part time nanny for three
children...and their dog. It’s the most
fun that I have had in awhile and I’m eating up all the funny things they
say. Mia, the youngest, got in to my car
the other day with a drawing from school.
It was of me and I was surrounded by what appeared to be dancing candy
canes. (on a side note, I had rather large facial features which makes me think
you guys aren’t telling me something…)
She then preceded to advise me, “Candy Kane, if you ever get a tattoo,
you should get a small candy cane because candy canes are sweet and people will
think you are too.” Well if that’s my
only hope for tricking people into thinking I’m sweet, I guess I’d better break
out the red and white ink!
#4: Our mascot is a ram.
This might not be news to many of you but it is particularly confusing
these days as our campus has been taken over by cows. Moooooooooooo. Very large cow statues were dispersed
throughout our campus during the summer as a part of the “cow parade” and they
are becoming a source of scandal here at UNC.
(Learn more about the parade here: http://cowparadenc.com)
To date, two cows have already been defaced! Oh the horror! Anyway while they seem to be for a good
cause, I wish they were at least rams because they are a bid odd and off
puttin. Also they are a particular
nuisance to people of my status who have a hard time navigating the lopsided
sidewalks as is. Now they go and put a
large obstacle in the middle? I mean you
might as well put me down for the count.
#5:Delta Delta Delta can I help ya help ya help ya??? Well it’s that time of year again,
RUSHHHHHH! Except this time I’m on the
other side of it all. Instead of being
flattered, fed, and fanned, I’m sweating, sweet talking, and swearing privately
to myself. For me Rush mostly includes a
lot of jumping up and down, dancing, and smiling…it’s very exhausting and
although I LOVE IT AND TRI DELT IS THE GREATEST THING TO GRACE THE FACE OF THE
EARTH AND I LOVE HEARING ABOUT PEOPLE’S MAJORS AND WHAT THEY DID THIS SUMMER,
I’m glad it’s over. All of our jumping,
yelling, and dancing hard work paid off though because we have a cute group
of new delta babies and I’m so excited for the year ahead!!! Our bid day was circus themed: Tri Delta-The
Greatest Show On Earth. We had a
magician, a face painter, a fortune teller, a DJ, ANDDDDDDDD clefs. They’re back y’all and better than ever!
Welcome to Deltaland!!!:
Me and the roommates:
BID DAY!!!!! I was a tigress:
Fly Delta-Coffee, Tea, or Me?:
BID DAY!!!! Throw what you know:
BID DAY!!! Welcome to the greatest show on earth:
I was a flower in the skit...i attribute our whole new great pledge class to my role:
#6: Happy Birthday Grace Mann!!!!!! Our friendship is an unlikely one but i'm thankful for it everyday you weirdo. Happy 19th!!
#7: An afterthought on Dolly's birthday... I hope your birthday was as great as you are! I told you we had fun!
Anyways that’s what my first few weeks of school have been
filled with! I hope the year continues
as smoothly and enjoyably as it has thus far.
I say this skeptically because I have yet to take an exam and we all
know how I handle the pressure of those-with lots of crying. Love ya. Miss ya. Mean it.
Kane
My attempt at making a meal...wish me luck this year:
