Happy Ashley Day

WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

“I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table.  I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of a vulture.  I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.  I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.”

-Lemony Snicket

The Beatrice Letters

            …particularly when the movie is Pride and Prejudice…or anything else Jane Austen for that matter.  HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to the best mama in the whole world!!  This year, my mama celebrated her special day the way she does every year: away from her children.  J My mother has always enjoyed her time with her Queens girls and they take an annual mother’s day beach trip…clearly they love us lots. 

Anyway, in honor of my beautiful mama, a list of things she has taught me:

--One does not actually wash chicken with dish soap and water…just dish soap.

--Remember who you are, but more importantly, remember WHOSE you are…and don’t embarrass them.

--Always coordinate your outfit with at least one other family member. That way, should one of you get lost, it will be easier to identify them as the person dressed EXACTLY like you…useful one, mom.

The only time to date that we haven't dressed alike:

--“Best By” dates are more of guidelines than actual rules.

--The best way to spread Christmas cheer is playing Christmas music starting the day after Thanksgiving and playing it until the kids finally hide the music.  That’s about New Years.

--Love your family. They’re the most solid thing you’ve got and they deserve your whole heart.  You’ve always been there for us mom, sorry we are all so crazy.

I get it from my mama:

But at first she was all, "she's not mine":

Love ya. Miss ya. Mean it.

Kane