WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
“My whole life I’ve
been telling myself don’t be afraid.
And it is only now
that I’m realizing how stupid that is. Don’t be afraid. Like saying ‘don’t move
out of the way when someone tries to punch you’ or ‘don’t flinch at the heat of
a fire’ or ‘don’t blink.’ Don’t be human.
I’m afraid and you’re
afraid and we’re all always going to be afraid, because that’s the point.
What I should be
telling myself is ‘be afraid, but do it anyway.’
Live anyway.”
So I
survived exams and will live to muddle through another semester in the Real
World. I had barely finished my last
exam when my Dad and I jet-setted off to Puerto Rico for the adventure of a
lifetime. We flew to San Juan like big
shots, riding first class and watching the Sandlot the whole way. There, we explored Old San Juan, which was
BEAUTIFUL, ate some local food (plantains for daysssssss), watched some local
pigeons peck around in our restaurant, and walked around the old city on some
fabulously paved cobblebrick (that’s a thing?) streets before heading back to
the marina to acquaint ourselves with the Free
Spirit, an 80-foot Hatteras that would be our home for the next 6
days. The Free Spirit is grand to say the least and is manned by Captain Dave
and his mate, Kimberly.
San Juan streets:
Dave and Kimberly:
The four of
us spent the first night (pre embarking) at a Brazilian Steakhouse (Go Meat!!!)
…and then we had to sleep that off. By
the time I was ruthlessly shaken awake at the crack of dawn, during which
not even the demons in the world have opened their eyes but of course we all
must because who wants to miss the 6 am?!?! woke up we were metaphorically
setting sail (what with it not being a sail boat) with our sights set on the
Exumas…turns out our sights would mostly be set on water for the next 61 hours. If you’ve never been completely surrounded by
water, then you’re missing out. For
three days all I saw was water, no land to be seen and for the most part, too
far out to see any birds. There were fly
fish for days and the sea was calm calm calm.
6am sunrise...yay:
The fort:
I took one “shift” “driving” the
boat. Why the quotes? “Shift”: because while Dave and my Dad spent most of
their days behind the wheel, I mostly kept company and poor little old me only
had to watch to make sure we didn’t crash into anything for a mere 2 and a half
hours one morning from 2:30-5…I suspect the time assignments had something to
do with me being a college student and what not. “Driving”: because here’s what I’ve learned
about boats: they’re very much like crock pots in the sense that you just sort
of set it and forget it. It really
drives itself for the most part (and Dave is really good at his job and creates
the illusion that it’s all easy and fun and games…that’s the version I prefer.)
Shifts at the crockpot:
Anywho, our first land stop was in
Emerald Bay, Bahamas where we evaded customs (is it legal to have that online?
hope so.) and snuck onto the Sandals Resort, because ya know we’re rebels. We, yes Craig Hollingsworth included, danced
and sang and borrowed their free drinks well into the night. I’m also fairly certain (I’d say 39%) that I
was inducted into some sort of exclusive Bahamian society of which I am now
queen of. I got a pretty sweet outfit
and everything. Also they gave me a
bottle of rocks so I’m pretty sure it’s official. You may, from this point
forward, refer to me as Queen Kane. I
might also respond to Your Highness the Beautiful, but who knows? We are still
in the Bahamian queen trial period.
Me leading my people:
The next day customs came to us and
we sought out immigrations at the airport because I’ll be damned if I was
leaving that place without a stamp on my passport. The unexpected trip to the local dirt
airstrip was actually a blessing in disguise because: 1. I got to ride, while
someone else drove, on the left side of the rode for the first time…shveet, and
2. I got to see the beautiful beaches the island has to offer…also pretty
shveet.
From Emerald Bay, we set off again,
this time for the MAIN EVENT!!! Some short hours later we were in Staniel Cay,
Bahamas: the greatest show on earth.
They’ve got nurse sharks and stingrays to spare that just swim
peacefully around with you in the crystal clear water. They’ve got an island of pigs, yes of pigs!!
The burnt piggies swim out to your boat and tread water for an impressive
amount of time while you feed them stale tortilla chips and lettuce…YUM!!!
There is also “Thunderball Grotto”, the coolest thing I’ve ever done. As some of you know, I don’t dive (like into
the deep abyss I mean. I can swan dive like none other.) It has never been on
the list of things I need to in my life. Skydive? Sure. Bungee jump? Maybe.
Potentially drown? Hmmm not so much. Anyway snorkeling is a very good
alternative for me and the grotto was the place for me to be. I swam around the surface and watched the
fishies from a distance. Go skepticism!
Piggy Island:
Flags at Staniel Cay:
After our romp in the ocean, we
boarded the boat and headed for American soil, finally touching down in Ft.
Lauderdale after a pretty cool lightning show that night. Trip of a lifetime for sure and my dad and I
had some solid quality time and here’s what I learned about him:
- He prefers COLD Coors Light to water
- He studied under the apostles as a fisherman:
that man caught a fish in the middle of the damn ocean. How does one go out into the abyss and manage
to catch a fish with his own bare hands (kidding he used some sort of fancy rod
but still…)
- He does not like asparagus.
- He is apparently concerned that that trip will
be the last time he ever spends with me.
He kept saying, “This one’s 20 so this might be the last chance we
have.” To which I say:
a.
“This one” is how you identify puppies in a
litter.
b.
I’m still 19. Don’t age me anymore than necessary.
Growing up is a trick.
c.
You’re very young ish. The beard
dates you but we all know you’re faking the aches and that you can still swing
somebody around in a shag dance so I’m not really sure where you think you’re
headed.
d.
I’ve been told you and I are similar. I don’t know where they get it. Maybe it’s
our good looks, our strong aversion to physical contact, and the pure joy we
get out of Duck Dynasty but someday I’m going to get just as annoyed with
everyone else in the world not being as smart as me and you and I are going to
sit around, the two grumps that we are, drinking (preferably not Coors Light)
and watching, as mom would call it, some crap on TV. So don’t give up on me
quite yet. I’ll stick around for awhile
and ride with you to Lowe’s if you’ll still have me.
e.
THANKS FOR A GREAT TRIP!!!!
The magic fish:
Just dancin':
Love ya. Miss ya. Mean it.
Kane
